Ippt

So after bitching and moaning about it for the whole week, Ippt is finally over. And as if it was in any doubt, I failed. So as Robo said, it was inevitable, and as to Cheryl and Sam clearly you weren’t praying hard enough for me, or that the Guy Upstairs has a funny sense of humor. However the past 2 hours weren’t as simple as failing. In fact, a large part of the time I found myself uneasily fending off some creepy guy that kept hanging around me. And the people! My fellow dramatis personae of this horrible facet of national defence. There were the Paul Tans (for those that don’t get the reference, bring to mind your average middle aged man who is not very fit but thinks that oakley apperal can make up for it) in their sunglasses and MP3 players strapped to their arms. There were some ancient looking guys who happily ambled away 25 minutes on the 2.4km track while chatting about life. Ah Bengs and your average John Citizen (or should it be Citizen Tan). 

So as to the test itself, it started off amazingly. Shuttle run at sub 9s? With the added drama of my specs flying off at the second “touch down”, the PTI rushing in to try and pick it up, and me jumping over his hand right at the end to avoid a collison. Honestly if this were a movie the whole thing would be in slow-mo with some indie rock band wailing away with a guitar solo in the background. Then cue the jarring stop to the music as I noticed this guy giving me a look. At first I thought he was merely basking in my reflected (and very temporary, as you’ll find out) glory. But then I noticed the shaved legs, the trimmed eye browns, nails too shiny to possibly natural, and of course the skin tight PT kit the guy was wearing. Sirens immediately began blaring in my head, and the state of emergency only got worse when the guy queued up right behind me for the Sit-Up Station. I looked back, he caught my glance, our eyes met in one of those supremely awkward moments that i’ll probably remeber when i’m old, and suddenly I wasn’t so worried about failing anymore, but was going to try to get this over and done with as soon as possible.

But thankfully as providence would have it, I only managed to weeze and pant my way to 31 sit ups, 220 cm jump at SBJ and a stellar 3 chin ups. All of which effectively destoryed any sort of manly aura i was putting off. And happily I didn’t see the guy anymore until 2.4 when I over took him and noticed that under the well toned chest he had a heaving gut. (note we both failed anyway). 

So with all that over, i just hope the SAF isn’t going to try and still take $100 from me =(.